So...where to begin. About two weeks ago I noticed a nodule on my left breast. Since I had an appointment with Dr. Kumar in a few days, I didn't say anything to anyone. He immediately noticed the lump and we both stared at each other for a minute or so. "I don't like this", he said..."me either", I responded. He sent me for a mammogram and an ultrasound. Both tests came back suspicious. Two days later I underwent a core biopsy. The diagnosis?? Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma in the left breast. Damm! After five years of NED (No Evidence of Disease)...it's back. Breast Cancer is the pits. On Thursday I had a radical mastectomy of my left breast. Today is Tuesday....early morning. I still have a drain..I have not slept all night and I have reached the angry stage. I am furious that this horrible disease I fought so hard to rid myself of is back and taking up residence in my body again. Lot's of thoughts fight for control....did I not eat a good enough diet, did I not exercise enough, was I too glib about beating it the first time. Of course I know none of that has contributed to this diagnosis...I know that my chances of the cancer coming back were high and I am pretty sure I couldn't control this outcome. I am mostly angry because my husband is also not well and is facing a serious surgery soon. I HAVE to be able to care for him. I am worried about having chemo again...it decimated me the last go round and I hated radiation. I won't have those answers about treatment for week or so. I just read this over....I, I, I, geez what a pity party I am giving myself. Ok...I will step back...look at this in perspective and come up with a game plan. I restarted this blog because so many of my wonderful friends and family have called, sent card and letters, emails and stopped by. I am overwhelmed and am having some problems responding, but I do want you all to know that it means so much to know you are thinking of us and pulling for us. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I will check in again try to make this blog a fun place to be...not a pity party.
